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    The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

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    dragon of darkness

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    The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 1:19 pm

    im going to make a story im only going to allow a few people in it an im thinking Manny and Shad0wChas3r if they want in im going to make it where they are an a unknown  planet if you guys can make any suggestions im all ears

    adn this is for anything for the story of hope do not post any thing on the actual post


    Last edited by The angel of hope on March 1st 2013, 4:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Manny
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Manny on February 24th 2013, 1:30 pm

    Is this a collab (collaborative story) or the story of your character?

    If it's the latter you get a say in most plot points, except Manuel and Blaine cannot die until their respective authors decide to kill them off (which will most likely happen in their own stories).

    A few things to note. Blaine is a Spartan II so he's gone through the same childhood as Chief.
    Manuel is also a Spartan II part of a PMC (Private Military Company) that created illegal Spartans. In the years during the Human-Covenant war this PMC had a contract with ONI because Humajity needed all the Spartan it could get. This PMC was renamed "the Legion of War" in the year 2551. The Legion, in many ways, represent that darker side of warfare (e.g. Geonicide). So if you're hanging with the Legion, you're hanging with some "bad" dudes.

    HOWEVER, Manuel does leave the Legion for a time. From 2546 to 2553. So he's just an ONI agent then.

    Anyways, decide what kind of story you want this to he. Is this a crucial mission? Does he lose his voice here? Is it his first mission? What is important here?

    If it's just a collab, what's the mission? We fighting Innies who have gotten their hands on Covie tech? We rescuing Covies who want to defect (Grunts maybe)? It's your story so you go where you want with it.
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 1:35 pm

    you gave me good ideas and this is about when he ran away from the facility where he was trained and i need some more people who ran away with him friends family any thing like make another character or you can play someone besides Manuel im still waiting for the other guy who plays Blaine
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    Manny
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Manny on February 24th 2013, 1:38 pm

    So is he a "regular" Spartan II or Spartan III?

    Or is he like Manuel who was trained in secret?
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 1:41 pm

    read my profile he is a spartan III and the interview thing your doing can i do it
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    Shad0wChas3r
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 1:43 pm

    Is this training facility run legally, or like Manuel said is it Illegal?

    If it's Illegal, it would be Blaine's job to take Hope away from there.

    I might do this, no promises, it depends on how busy I get.

    I'd also invite Bad John, if I was you. He might like a part in it.
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Manny on February 24th 2013, 1:48 pm

    The angel of hope wrote:read my profile he is a spartan III and the interview thing your doing can i do it
    The character interview is open to everyone.
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 1:49 pm

    ok like i said it is illegal but they have rebels attacking it every day and when hope runs away with some friends of course they have armor since they are almost done with training they are on there last month of training but they want out and run
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 1:51 pm

    Post Manny Today at 12:48 pm

    The angel of hope wrote:read my profile he is a spartan III and the interview thing your doing can i do it

    The character interview is open to everyone.

    ok that's good and if you guys can help me im new and im already doing a story i will get better if i get help
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 1:54 pm

    I can try to help, absolutely.
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    Manny
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Manny on February 24th 2013, 1:56 pm

    The angel of hope wrote:Post Manny Today at 12:48 pm

    The angel of hope wrote:read my profile he is a spartan III and the interview thing your doing can i do it

    The character interview is open to everyone.

    ok that's good and if you guys can help me im new and im already doing a story i will get better if i get help
    We can give you advice to the best of our ability.

    If you want me to RP as one of Hope's friends, that's cool as well. Just think up the character and tell me what they are like. That way, if need be, you can take control of them.

    I'll give you a good tip right now. Use a word processor, like Microsoft Word or something. You can save your stories and it will help you with some grammatical/spelling errors.
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 2:07 pm

    ok thanks manny
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    Shad0wChas3r
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 2:12 pm

    Manny! DO NOT POST AGAIN!

    You have the holy number! Keep it, if only for a while!
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 3:07 pm

    got any ideas yet guys Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven these are for you guy for being so nice Like a Star @ heaven Like a Star @ heaven
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    dragon of darkness

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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 4:17 pm

    hay i got the first part done want to check it shad
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 4:39 pm

    “Rise and shine sleepy heads it’s time for training” the Sargent said as he was turning on the lights

    “Do we have to its only 4 weeks left tell we are out sarg” Maliha said to him a wide eyed yawn
    Hope looked ate here and admired her creamy brown hair and her big blue eyes and her smile fills my heart up with well hope but when he heard a thump he looked down at saw his friend mike fell to the floor form the top bunk

    “Oow that hurt” mike paused,” oh hay Maliha how’s the weather up there” mike always makes that joke to here after all she is 6’2

    After he made that remark hope slapped mark upside the head and he got the memo not to say that for the rest of the day but when I did that I got hit upside the head by the sarg and I gave him what people call the death stare

    “Ten hut soldiers” the Sargent said

    All 4 of my friends got out of bed and stood in front of the Sargent he still hasn’t told us his name still everyone was there mark, Maliha, me drake, and Cammy and that’s the order we were trained to be in
    And I hated that I’m always the one in the middle

    “Today men and women we are going to teach medical treatments” sarg said as he stares at hope

    “When do we start sarg” Maliha said as the sarg walked past them

    “0600 is when we start witch gives you an hour to suit up and call me Blake” Blake said as he stopped in front of hope

    “Sir I have a question is this training simulated” Cammy asked in worry

    “No it’s not Cammy its real, real pain real blood real bullets” Blake replied to Cammy pulling out his pistol and emptied the clip as the bullets hit the floor the alarm sounded and the coms clicked on

    “Sir we are under attack by the rebels and they brought a scorpion” the marine said

    “How in the hell did they get their hands on firepower like that” Blake said in confusion

    “Sir I heard that this is programs illegal” Maliha said curiosity

    “YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ANY THING YOU SON OF A BIT….” Blake yelled but got interrupted by a fist in the face by hope and he looked back and they got what he meant…. “RUN” as that ran down each hallway as hope memorized the way out when he started planning this he took a right, left and another left then a right and outside right in to the scorpion ant they pointed their guns at us and we put our hands up and I looked at them and we darted to the tank and knocked the gunner out and got in ant started firing at the group

    “Kill that kid damn it kill hi...” one rebel said as he got a gut fill of bullets

    “We need to get to the other kid we got to get them” mike yelled over the barrage of bullets

    As hope stopped to see that every rebel is dead he got out picked up 4 assault rifles and tossed them to each of his friends and picked up one and nodded and started towards where the others where there was only 2 but on was killed during an attack so there is only one and his name is Leo

    “You think Leo is still alive” Cammy said in worry her eyes were ready to cry

    “He’ll be alright he was the second best person here” mark said to bring her spirit up

    “I hope your right mark” Cammy replied

    “I know he is Cammy” mark said smiling at here

    Cammy and Leo have a thing going on ever since they meet hope and Maliha have the same thing her most prized possession is the blue crystal necklace it has a special trait to it she says I never seen anything special about it but I love her but she seem to interested in getting out of here I was thinking that she was going to blow the gate up with the scorpion because we heard the coms clicked on

    “Lockdown we are going in to fucking lock down we have runners” Blake said over the coms

    Hope was thinking and he told his team to be quiet by putting his finger to his lips before they moved forward hope did something brave and kissed Maliha and she was surprised that she dropped her gun
    And it rattled but no one was around to hear it except hopes other friends and they stood there in ah
    And hope pulled away and signaled them to move with him.

    It's good so far, but if you give me just a moment, I'm going to edit through it.
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 4:40 pm

    ok but try not to change it to much
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 4:48 pm

    The angel of hope wrote:ok but try not to change it to much

    I won't, I assure you.

    Question: Is this story in the First Person?


    You kind of swap back and forth between the First and the Third.

    Example of the First Person:
    I walked down the street. My heart skipped a beat as this young, beautiful woman walked past me, a cute smile on her lips. I paused, admiring her beauty, as she continued her path down the side walk.

    Turning on the spot, I walked up to her, tapping her on the shoulder.

    "Hello." I said. "Are you alright? That fall must've really hurt."

    "What fall?" She asked, causing my heart to skip a beat.

    "The one from Heaven, 'cause you must be an angel." I smiled.

    Example of the Third Person:
    Morgan walked down the street. His heart skipped a beat as a young, beautiful woman walked past him. She had a cute smile on her lips. Morgan paused, admiring her beauty, then turned on his heels and followed her.

    Tapping her on the shoulder, the girl turned to face him, as he smiled.

    "Hello." Morgan said boldly. "Are you alright? That fall must've hurt?"

    "What fall?" She asked, concerned.

    "The one from Heaven." Morgan said, grinning. "'Cause you must be an angel."

    This will be helpful when I edit for you.
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 5:00 pm

    um... first person im hope you are Blaine so if you can make it like that thank you
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 5:16 pm

    Okay, just remember when you do the first person that you are ONLY focusing on the character.

    So if the story is about Hope, the story should be told from his point of view.

    For example:

    "YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT YOU DON’T KNOW ANY THING YOU SON OF A BIT…." Blake yelled but got interrupted by a fist in the face by hope and he looked back and they got what he meant.

    Should actually be:

    “YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT! YOU DON’T KNOW ANY THING YOU BIT….” Blake yelled, as I swung my right fist, interrupting the deceitful bastard with a clean jab to the face, and we suddenly got what he meant. We were decieved
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 5:18 pm

    ok that is good what if it goes between people like your character and who ever Manny wants to be
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on February 24th 2013, 5:22 pm

    We'll make due. Manny and I usually write in the third person. But that doesn't mean you have to.
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 5:24 pm

    ok what ever you want to do i was thinking you guys can be what ever you want ill be first person ok
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 6:02 pm

    “Rise and shine, Spartans.” our Sargent said gruffly, as he turned on the lights.

    “Do we have to? It's only 4 weeks left 'till we're out sarge.” Maliha yawned, speaking to the Sarge sarcastically.

    I looked at her, admiring her creamy brown hair and her big, soft blue eyes. Just her smile fills my heart up with- well hope. My thoughts were cut short when I heard a thump to my right. Turning, I looked down and saw my friend Mike laying on the floor after falling from the top bunk.

    “Ow that hurt.” Mike paused, rubbing his head, Mahila stood to check up on him. "Oh hey Maliha! How’s the weather up there?!”

    Mike always made that joke to her. After all, she was 6’2''.

    After he made that remark, I slapped Mike upside the head, and Mike got the memo not to say that again. I jumped a bit as I was struck on the back of the head as well by the Sarge. I turned, staring deep into the Sarge's eyes with a death stare.

    “Stand down soldier.” Sarge growled. "Ten HUT!"

    All four of my friends and I got out of bed and stood in front of the Sergeant, who still remained nameless to us. Everyone was present; Mike, Maliha, Drake, Cammy, and I. That was the order the recruits were trained to be in, and I hated that I was always the 'child' of the group.

    “Today we're going to learn about Medical Treatment. If you don't know any basic First Aid, how the hell do you plan on working as a team?” Sarge said gruffly, staring at me.

    “When do we start Sarge?” Maliha asked as the Sarge walked past us, arms folded behind his back.

    “0600 is when we start. Which gives you promptly an hour to suit up. From now on, you call me Blake.” Blake said as he stopped in front of me, staring angrily.

    “Sir I have a question." Cammy asked in worry. "Is this training simulated?”

    “No it’s not Cammy its real. Real pain, real bullets, real blood.” Blake replied, pulling out his pistol.

    We all tensed at the sight of the weapon, as the clip dropped to the floor, the Sergeant skillfully placing a new, fresh clip into the chamber.

    Suddenly, the lights in the room flashed red, as the intercom came alive.

    “Sir we're under attack by the rebels!" the Marine said, panicked. "They even brought a Scorpion this time!”

    “How in the hell did they get their hands on firepower like that?!” Blake said in confusion, turning to us. "But that's alright, we've got the trainees to take care of it."

    “Sir, I have a question?" Mahila asked, concerned about the attack. "I heard that this is program is illegal-?"

    “YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT! YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING YOU BIT….” Blake yelled, advancing towards her as I swung my right fist, interrupting the deceitful bastard with a clean jab to the face, and we suddenly got what he meant. We were decieved .

    “RUN!" I barked, as we ran down each hallway.

    I paused for a second, remembering that I had memorized the way out. I had had plans to escape long before now, but it wasn't until now that these months of planning began to pay off. I took a right, then a left, and then another left. Making the final right turn and outside, to freedom.

    Little did I know, in my thoughts of escape, that I had run right in to the Scorpion tank. The rebels pointed their guns at us, as we put our hands up in a fake surrender. Once their guards were down, I looked at my team-mates, my friends, and we darted right for the tank. Mahila pulled the turret gunner out, throwing him into the group of confused rebels, Drake, Cammy, and Mike fought them, as they were trained. I myself clambered onto the tank, the Driver still a major threat. Mahila smiled to me as she jumped into the turret.

    I thrust my hand onto the hatch, ripped it open, and pulled the Driver out, throwing him next to his Gunner. Hopping into the Driver's seat, at least I was safe from bullets.

    “Kill that kid damn it kill hi-!” the Driver roared as Mahila filled him with bullets.

    “We need to get to the other kids! We got to get them!” Mike yelled over the barrage of bullets.

    The combined firing from my friends was enough to cut down the group of Rebels, as I finally learned how to drive the tank itself.

    I stopped, hopping out of the tank. Mahila and the others joined me by my sides, as we lifted Assault Rifles off of the dead rebels. I walked over, where two recruits, two kids like us, laid on the floor in front of us. One of the I checked for a pulse, when I felt nothing, I declared him killed during the attack. I felt the other's pulse, it was light, but it was there.

    “You think Leo is still alive?” Cammy asked in worry, her eyes were ready to cry.

    “He’ll be alright. He was the second best soldier here.” Mike said to bring her spirit up.

    "I think you mean he IS the second best soldier here." Mahila replied. "He's not dead yet."

    “I hope you're right.” Cammy replied, wiping tears from her eyes.

    “I know he is Cammy." Mike said, smiling at her.

    Cammy and Leo have always had a thing going on ever since they meet. I was happy knowing that Mahila was still fine. See, Maliha and I have the same thing going on, a special relationship. Drake and Mike always rag on us about it, but they'll never fully understand.

    Mahila smiled at me as I stood, she fumbled with an object on her neck. It was her most prized possession; a blue crystal necklace. She says it has a special trait to it, but I've never seen anything special about it. But my love for her made me go along with it. At this point, she seemed too interested in getting out of here. I was thinking that she was going to blow the gate up with the Scorpion because we heard the comms turn on again, this time with Blake the fake.

    “Lock-down! We're going in to fucking lock down! We have runners” Blake's voice barked.

    I thought for a moment, before I put a finger up to my lips to signal them to be quiet. I moved closer to them, closer to Maliha. Mustering all the courage that I could, I leaned forward and kissed Maliha right on the lips. She had been surprised by the act, dropping her Assault Rifle, the gun clattered to the ground, thankfully no-one else was around to hear it.

    We left each other's embrace, as she smiled. The others looked at us in awe, before I signaled them to move up. Mike reached down, grabbing Leo's unconscious form, and slung him over his shoulder.

    I pointed over to the armory, where our Armor was located. Maliha nodded, turning to the others, relaying the message. We'd need our armor before we could leave.
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    Re: The Story of Hope (OOC Thread)

    Post  dragon of darkness on February 24th 2013, 6:04 pm

    never mind read it to fast im sorry very sorry if this makes you go threw so much trouble

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