Vale will recognize it as a slight alteration/prequel to something we've been working on for a while. I thought it'd be something interesting to at least try on.
"The three sharp taps of the gavel signify the threefold purpose of this meeting. The first, to evaluate the training of our newest guardian, complete or otherwise."
Tap. In sunlit room, the sound of the wooden hammer tapping the table echoed. Several men and women sat around a long, round table. At the head sat the ruler of the kingdom. Tall, young, and winsome, Princess Blossom stared down at her council, and the character witnesses necessary to report on the guardian's progress.
"The second, to foster closer brotherhood through the guardian's service to our sister country, the Mushroom Kingdom."
Tap. She noticed her sister in the corner of the room. A young girl, her sister played with a small wooden puppet. The youngster was attempting to keep quiet, but murmured words under her breath as she played with her toy.
"And third, to establish a closer brotherhood between our proud nation of Sarasaland and our aforementioned sister country. Let the meeting begin."
Princess Blossom turned sharply towards her first councilor. The man sported a massive, polka dotted white "hat," his kind's strange equivalent to hair (although safely removable). He also nursed a long, distinguished grey mustache; his pride and joy. "Has the guardian completed his training, Elder?"
The Elder toad raised a long, grey scroll. "I have multiple conflicting reports. The Fire Maester added a personal note for our deliberation, speaking highly of the guardian's mastery. Shall I read it aloud?"
"Yes." Blossom rolled her hand, pushing back her long, shining brown hair. "Proceed, please."
Clearing his throat, the Elder read.
Fire Maester's Note wrote:
I believe John's mastery of Fire has surpassed even my own. During his final exam, we had a hard sparring session.
He burned off half of my beard, and singed the hair off of my arm in a controlled display. I believe he could have reduced me to a skeleton had he gone all out. Luckily, he was not too overzealous in his display of power.
I am greatly impressed. I am also shamed by the loss of my facial hair. :(
The moment the Elder finished reading, he nearly choked at the notion of seeing the Fire Maester's beard singed half off. "Impressive marks."
Blossom nodded. "I sat in on one of his training sessions. I'm unsurprised. Other reports?"
"The Flight Meister sends similar positive regards. He seems to favor the wing cap." The Elder smiled. "His basic hand-to-hand combat and athleticism match the original Mushroom Kingdom's past guardian. There are reports that he's even more robust in terms of speed and strength."
The Princess leaned forward. "Give me the bad news."
The Elder nodded, his eyes scrolling down the parchment. "The Tanooki and Frog Suit trainers complained that he was...less than cooperative with their training methods. Senor Frawg goes so far as to suggest that John cannot properly swim without a frog suit, though he refuses to wear one."
Across the room, a distinguished, muscular toad raised his voice. General Fungo, laughing boisterously, beat his fist against the table. "Swimming is for pansies!!! I say he's ready!!!"
The Elder shook his head gravely. "I believe it speaks to a certain arrogance. Or at very least an inflexibility in his personal character."
Blossom, considering the facts before her, made her decision. "...That may be true, but I believe he is ready. Has he consented to the journey?"
General Fungo nodded. "I briefed him on the journey. He says he'll leave in the morning tomorrow when he gets the go-ahead. He's quite excited to begin his career as a guardian of Mushroom Kingdom. At least until their Princess is of age."
Blossom smiled. "Good. The arrival of a Guardian should keep the unstable Koopa Keep in check. With Bowser gone, they've been spoiling for a fight. This may effectively detour military intervention."
General Fungo beat the table again, cracking the wood on his corner. "Even if they DO attack, with John leading the charge, our military would beat the shells off of their turtle tookases."
"That's racist!" A koopa councilmember grumbled, glaring at the General.
"Uh...sorry." General Fungo apologized, frowning. "That was in poor taste."
"Well, I believe this meeting is adjourned. Inform John. Tell him to get some rest. Even with a mount, his journey may take days." Blossom struck the table with her gavel.
Tap. "This meeting is adjourned. Let us all hope that our new guardian has a long, illustrious career."
Walking alone across the winding, sunny trail, a young man embarked on his journey. Having just exited the borders of Sarasaland, he was leaving behind a place that had been his home for a year.
With his affairs in order, his personal effects packed onto his back, and a song whistling from his lips, John marched along, kicking a rock. His massive, brown backpack had several effects, including a war-hammer attached to loop, a string of extra hats, and other things stuffed into the bag. Tools of the trade for a plumber; although that term carried a much stranger connotation on this planet. He walked with his hands in his pockets, slightly bowed by the weight of his bag, but his gait was not slowed.
The clothes on his back were simple, and well worn. He had a brown tee shirt, blue jeans, and brown boots. Atop his black haired head, he had a brown jeep cap, the letter "J" stitched onto it. The uniform of the trade.
He'd declined overalls, as they felt strange on his chest, and he lacked the age and experience to grow out a firm, black mustache, preferring a clean shaven look.
He was fairly distinguished, in that he was one of the only humans on the planet. They were a rare breed, considered Nephilim; descendents from angels on high, created to protect, serve, and govern. John was also even MORE rare, in that he was one of the few humans from the hotter desert continents, boasting brown skin, more resistant to heat and sunlight. That was part of the reason he'd managed to best his Fire Maester.
Despite everything that made him special, nobody seemed to be bothering him as he walked. He was alone, whistling a tune as he tromped along. However, he was being watched.
"Pfft. Maybe I should have taken a Yoshi. Those guys move quiiiiiiiiiiick." John had ignored the advice of General Fungo, electing to walk. He'd gone a fair distance, but he wasn't making much ground.
Worse still, he was fairly lonely.
Suddenly, the Plumber jerked around to look behind. He stared suspiciously at a nearby bush.
The bush seemed perfect. A paragon among bushes. It was symmetrical, fluffy, green, and low to the ground. Everything a bush could aspire to be.
Only the bush was planted on the path where he'd just walked.
And John had spotted the bush two miles back.
And one mile back.
And two minutes ago.
And the bush seemed to have shuffled forward since he last looked.
"WAIT A SECOND! THAT'S NOT A BUSH AT ALL!" John dropped his provisions, and grasped a fire flower. In an instantaneous red flash, his clothing changed color. His blue jeans shifted to brown, his brown shirt turning white. John's hands were coated in fire.
The bush remained perfectly still, but as John lifted his hand, he heard a muted, terrified whimper.
"...Huh. Doesn't sound like a goomba. A goomba would have jumped out by now." John turned, and with an offhanded, bored snap, he sent a spark towards the bush.
"AH! NO DON'T!" The imposter screamed in horror as the bush was lit aflame. "I don't wanna die~!!!"
FWOOMP.
The fire only burned for an instant, slashing up the sides of the bush and reducing the fake leaves to ash. Inside of the fake bush, a young, trembling, light skinned man curled into a fetal position, shivering and slightly singed.
John smiled. "Ah, lighten up. You're fine." The dark skinned man walked towards the interloper, picking him up. The light skinned man was human, an odd surprise. He was also very lightweight, only necessitating one arm to lift a few feet off the ground. Holding him up by the back of his light blue shirt, John poked the stranger. "So...you messing with me or something? Wanna fight? Trying to rob me?"
The young man turned to look John in the eye, and that one look said it all. He was just a scared, lonely kid. Likely a bit younger than John, and several pounds lighter, and nearly a head shorter. The kid whimpered, and John rolled his eyes as he burst into tears. "DOOOOOOON'T HUUUUUUUUUURT MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"...Okay. So you don't want to fight. Here. Lemme go get you some tissues. Jeez."
With his fire-powers deactivated, John stood patiently, waiting for the kid to finish his water-works. After a few minutes, the light skinned boy regained his composure. John had given him a box of hankies, and let him sit on his luggage bag. The young man swung his legs, humming a tune to relax his frayed nerves.
The plumber took a moment to look him over. The kid wore a long sleeved royal blue sweater, short khaki pants that reached just above his knees, and he didn't wear a hat, something that slightly offended John's sensibilities. Instead, he had long, shining, black, winsome hair that reached the small of his back.
Maaaaaaaan, the ladies must think this kid's adorable. John grimaced as he looked at the young man. I think long hair is in style. Mine's too curly, though.
After a little while of consideration, John approached. The kid flinched, holding up his tissue box like a makeshift shield. "DUDE, we've been over this. I'm not gonna punch you." John reached out, patting the kid on the head. "So, whatcha doing out here? You seem like you might be royalty or something."
"...I was lonely, I needed help and I heard you talking with those tough looking toads. You're on your way to the Mushroom Kingdom, right?" The kid clasped his hands together, looking John pleadingly in the eye. "I have to get to the Mushroom Kingdom, and you're the new guardian. Can you take me there?"
John squinted at the boy, considering him. "Where are you from? You're royalty, I know it. With clothes like that, you're not a commoner. I'm taking you back where you belong. Period. Protecting royalty and maintaining order is my job description. If you're lost, or you're running away, I think it's best that I put you back where you belong."
"Please don't." The boy stood, backing away. "Look...just say you didn't see me! I promise I won't tell anyone about this."
The plumber stepped forward, grasping the boy by the back of his sweater, and tucking him into a headlock to keep him from running off. "Nope. I'm taking you back to Sarasaland. It'll pack a few more hours onto my trip, but Princess Blossom ought to be able to get you where you need to go."
"NO! I can't go back! I won't!!!" The kid frantically struck John's arm, but he was as solid as a rock. "PLEASE! Look, I'm from Wertherton Kingdom, okay?"
John paused, letting go. The kid stumbled away, fists balled as he held his ground. Totally unthreatened, the plumber thought for a moment, looking the prince over. "Huh. Figured. So, why shouldn't I just take you back there?"
"...Because my Dad wants to marry me off to the Princess of Beanbean Kingdom." The prince shook his head, unable to bear the thought. "I can't, I can't, I triple CAN'T get married to her."
"Huh. That against arranged marriage, eh? That sucks, but you should just stand up to your Dad and say no. You'll be the King one day, won't you?" John smiled. "There's always a way out, but that's no reason to make your family worry."
"He isn't worried. My brothers helped me escape. He's marrying me off so he doesn't have to ever see me again."
"Why?" John, confused, folded his arms. "You don't seem so bad. You're annoying, but I'm guessing that's based on this particular context."
"Well, then you're not looking hard enough. I'm not brave, I'm small, and I like to wear my hair long. I can't use weapons, and my only talents are something Dad calls 'wussy.'" The kid's expression darkened, his mouth quivering slightly. John could tell he was going to cry, and awkwardly patted his shoulders.
"Hey, hey. Chill, man. It's not so bad." Scrambling for something to say, John recalled what he knew about Beanbean country. "Beanbean's a pretty nice place, and all the princesses there are perfect tens, man! Your Dad ought to be jealous."
The kid kept his head low, and John went on, trying to evoke a response other than tears. "C'moooooon, man. There's worse things in the world than marrying a hot rich lady."
"Not for me." The kid wiped his eyes.
"What the heck does that mean?" John thought for a moment, then it clicked. He was fairly effeminate, enjoys light colors, and his hair was long and impeccably well groomed.
"Oooooh. Wait, so you don't...you're not into marrying...ladies?" John quickly saw why the kid ran away from home.
The kid nodded. "I'd be living a lie."
John looked down at the kid sympathetically. "...Does your dad know?"
"Yes."
"Does he care?" John asked.
The kid shook his head "no," unable to talk without his voice breaking. "I do everything he asks, but I can't do this. This is my way of standing up to him. I just want a fresh start. I don't care if I don't get to live in a castle anymore. I don't care if I never get to see my brothers again. I just want to be me."
"...What's your name, kid?"
"Prince Riccio."
"WELP, get on up, Ricky, we've got a long walk to the Mushroom Kingdom." John walked on over to his bag, lifting the massive pack onto his back. "You can hang with me until you figure something else out. Keep the tissue box. I get a feeling you go through a lot of 'em."
Prince Riccio's eyes widened with hope and surprise. "You won't take me back to my Dad? Why?"
"NooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE." John stretched his arms, turning back towards the young man. "Your situation sucks. I've lived my whole life getting to be myself. In everything I do, I make my own choices, and I act the way I want to. I guess if I can help you achieve the same privilege, that's a more important job than being a guardian plumber guy. Now, hold on a sec."
John turned away for a moment, reaching into his backpack. Curious, Riccio watched as John pulled together several things. Some blue fabric, a needle and thread, and a handkerchief.
Soon, the plumber turned, grabbing the prince by the head. "Hold still." John tied a bandanna to Riccio's head. "Hats don't seem like your style."
Riccio took it off, and looked at it. The flower patterned bandana had a fancy "R" stitched into the front. The prince, touched by the gesture, tied it on. "You can be my aid for now. If anyone asks, just say your name is something else that starts with R."
The light skinned prince stood, sniffling and fixing his hair around the bandanna. "Thank you! I promise I won't slow you down!" Riccio smiled brightly at John. "What's your name?"
"John. John the plumber." The dark skinned plumber started walking. "Now keep up, kid. We've got at least three days until we make it to the Mushroom kingdom."
FRAP.
John felt a sudden weight on his back, and almost lost his balance. He looked behind him to see what was happening. Riccio had leapt onto his backpack, clinging to it. "ONWARDS, John! Let's go!"
"...You said you weren't gonna slow me down, bro."
Riccio grinned. "You don't have to wait for me if I'm on your back! And if it rains, or gets too sunny, I'll hold my parasol up for us! It's symbiosis."
"...This is going to be a very long trip."
Let's Go Together.:
Party Member Added!!! wrote:Looks like John made a friend. But, can Riccio pull his weight when push comes to shove? Can John protect the fragile prince when the chips are down?! Find out next time, when a sick battle happens!!!
Hm. I should have named this story "The Plumber, the Prince, and the Power Star." I like alliteration.
Last edited by Bad John on January 27th 2015, 7:45 pm; edited 3 times in total
For a Mario story, this doesn't feel overly "childish". It feels like a normal fantasy world that just so happens to contain the races and creatures of the Mario universe.
Thought about taking a break, then I realized...fuck the police. I'mma try to update this at least once every other day.
Tough Galoot
John watched, amused beyond measure, as Riccio attempted to haul his bag. "HNNNNNNNNNGH..." Straining with every step, the expatriate Prince eventually fell onto his side, huffing and wheezing. He kicked his legs, unable to wiggle free of the massive backpack. "...I was lifting weights earlier today, so I'm a little tired."
The amused Plumber smiled over him, helping Riccio pull his arms out of the loops. "I'm sure. Look, man, there ain't any reason to try so hard. I'm sure you're good at other stuff." John dusted Riccio off, as the pouting Prince folded his arms, sucking his teeth in a fit of minor frustration. "Oi, how come my bag feels about...four pounds heavier? Did you throw something in here?" John lifted the bag, opening it up. Riccio darted over and reached inside.
"Oh, that's Bluebell! I've been carrying him with me since I left Wertherton."
"Bluebell?" John, curious, leaned over to see as Riccio pulled a white and blue object out of the bag. His heart skipped a beat when the Prince held out "Bluebell" for John to inspect. "Whoa! That's a Yoshi egg!" John, delighted, circled Riccio as he studied the color and markings. "A light blue one, too. It'll grow up to be a flier."
"Indeed. Wertherton is known for Yoshi husbandry! I named this little guy Bluebell." John snatched the egg, spinning it on his finger, the egg rotating with blurring speed. Riccio, horrified, reached out to take the egg back. "HEY!!! Don't spin Bluebell!!!"
"Yoshi eggs are tough. Besides, you stuffed him in my backpack. He's technically my property." The Plumber held out his hand, planting it on Riccio's face. "Lemme take a closer look."
"HE'S NOT YOURS, and there's nothing to look closer at! It's an egg with blue spots and it's Bluebell and you're traumatizing his little developing brain! End of story, give him back!"
"Nooooooooope. I'm namin' him Blue-Stratavari."
"NO! I ALREADY NAMED HIM! I'M ROYALTY!"
"You're my aid. You're outranked, Ricky."
"Nuh uh! You're MY aid."
"Oop. Heads up." John, ever vigilant, tossed the egg into Riccio's hands. The moment the Prince caught it, the Plumber grasped Riccio by the hat, and gave him a stiff yank, pulling him off the ground and jumping away.
Riccio was stunned when a sudden impact where they'd been standing kicked dirt and grass into the air. When John landed, he dropped the Prince onto the grass. John stood, hands up, as the dust cleared.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Riccio's eyes darted around, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Eh. Don't freak out, but we're under attack by those guys." When the dust settled, a small squad of four goombas and a koopa troopa emerged. The goombas wore tower helmets, their four foot tall bodies marked by the sigil of Koopa Keep. The Koopa, similarly kitted with a helmet, stood. He'd launched himself at John and Riccio, retracted into his shell, hoping to knock them out in a surprise attack.
"HALT! By the official decree of King Morton Koopa, we've come to, and I quote," The Koopa unrolled a long, grey scroll, squinting at it. "Beat the crap out of any weirdos with letters on their hats."
John smiled, cracking his knuckles. "Well, you're about to find out that we're-"
"Very sorry, and we promise we will never wear letters on our hats again!" Riccio bowed respectfully. "We didn't realize we'd broken the law, and we'll try not to cause any more trouble!"
"...Ricky, that's literally the opposite of what I was going to say and do." John rolled his eyes, as the Koopa retracted into his shell, and launched himself towards the Prince. The Koopa's shell bash carried enough force to outright DESTROY an easy target like the Prince. Riccio, frozen in horror, expected the attack to kill him. He released a soft whimper. His only reflex was to hide Bluebell behind his back, shielding the egg from harm.
BOMP. John guarded for Riccio, using his arm to deflect the shell. The Koopa was sent spinning into the air. The turtle-like soldier stuck its head and legs out, landing on his feet. "What?! You blocked my shell-charge? That's impossi-"
BAAAAAAAAAAAAM.
The Plumber fired off a mighty jab from his right hand. The blow knocked the Koopa clean out of his shell, sending him flying back towards his concerned troop of goombas. Dazed, and rubbing his bruised nose, the Koopa mumbled in a nasally voice.
"Alrighty, time for you guys to go home." The Plumber picked up the Koopa shell, tossing it into the air. "Here. You try blocking your shell charge! See how well it goes! I made it look easy, didn't I?" With a hop and a spin, John's boot swung, smashing the Koopa's shell with a powerful hook kick.
CLOCK. The Koopa's green, smooth shell hurtled through the air like a bullet. With a massive impact, the Koopa was stricken, his goomba troops sent flying in every direction from the force of the blow. The Koopa himself was knocked down the path and out of sight.
"Wow." The Prince let the words tumble out of his mouth. "You really whalloped them."
"Hey, we whalloped 'em. It was a team effort."
"I didn't do anything." The Prince looked shamefully at his buckled shoes. John smiled, giving Riccio a thumbs up.
"You distracted 'em, AND you protected Bluebell. You were totally gonna take the hit to protect that egg. That took guts. Good work, Rick."
"...Thanks, John. You have a nice way of putting things, 'bro.'"
"Don't try so hard, bro."
Last edited by Bad John on January 28th 2015, 9:16 pm; edited 3 times in total
Loving the story thus far, but only one thing is bothering me. It's so astronomically small, you may even think it's stupid. But being a Plumber's son, I have to say this... it's Plumber, not Plummer.
Plummer is actually defined as; A word commonly used to describe douche bags/homos/pedos. A plummer, as opposed to plumber, means that instead of cleaning the pipes and crevices of houses, cleans the pipes and crevices of fat hairy boys or young underaged girls.
Plumbers are what Mario, Luigi, and my father are, which are men that work with piping and crevices all day.
Again, great story! I really liked that fight scene !
During a short break, John watched Riccio drink deeply from a jar of golden-yellow liquid. The Prince held it with both hands, gulping deeply with each pull.
"What's in that thing?" John leaned forward slightly, sitting on a tree stump and watching Riccio chug the sticky looking liquid. Riccio held up a finger, drinking some more. Whatever it was, the long haired youngster seemed to be highly enjoying it.
"Honey syrup! It's great. Wanna try some?" Riccio walked towards the Plumber, holding the jar out to him. John shook his head. "C'mon, it's really sweet!"
"Nah, I'm good. I don't like things that are super sweet." John leaned back against his massive backpack, thinking for a moment. "Wait, I didn't have anything like that in my bag." Puzzled, John stood up and looked over Riccio. "And Bluebell's gone. Where the heck are you putting your stuff?"
"In my magic bag." Riccio reached into his pocket, and pulled out a bag small enough to pass for a coin-purse. "The opening stretches to any size, and it can carry anything without weighing you down! When I reach in, it gives me the thing I'm looking for so I can pull it out. It's super handy."
At first, the Plumber stared into the bag with beguiled amazement. His eyebrows shot up, as he took and observed the tiny bag, looking inside. There was nothing but darkness. He reached in, trying to find the Prince's Yoshi egg, and sure enough, he pulled his hand out and the egg was in his palm. "And nothing gets crushed together? Where does the stuff go?"
"It goes to hammerspace! A place where everything's in order. It's something my older brother invented. You could carry a carton of eggs, and a ton of bricks in this bag, and the eggs would be fine! My big brother is a really smart wizard." As Riccio spoke, his voice adopted the cadence and enthusiasm of a salesmen. He put his hands on his hips, proud of his older brother's invention. However, he started to worry when John slowly turned his head towards him. "...Uh...why are you looking at me like that?"
John's eyes narrowed, and a wide, toothy, sadistic smile slowly spread across his face. "...You were letting me carry around a bag the size of a two story building...because...?"
"Oh. I...uh..." Riccio rubbed his fingers together, looking at his shoes. "I guess I never...thought about it...?" The Plumber took a step towards the young man, placing his fist in his palm and cracking his knuckles. "Please don't hit me." Riccio ran a finger through his hair, a nervous grin on his face. "I bruise like a banana."
"I actually had something else in mind."
Stay Tuned! wrote:I'll post a longer chapter soon! Kinda in the middle of something. Stay Tuned!!!
Side note, you may have noticed that there are pretty much no curse words in this story.
At first, that wasn't even a conscious effort. Just didn't seem right considering the source material. Now, I've just kinda decided not to use any. I guess this is technically my cleanest story. Lol.
!
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