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    CP: Unity in Hell *Tease*

    Database Director

    Posts : 1225
    Join date : 2013-01-16
    Age : 23

    CP: Unity in Hell *Tease*

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on December 16th 2015, 7:38 pm

    Author's Notes: Teaser for a possible story idea in the future. General feedback will determine if this story actually becomes a thing or not.

    Yes, it's another First Person story. Yes, this is my second attempt at a horror genre story. No, I will not explain what the CP in the title references. Not yet, anyways.

    Anything read within this teaser does NOT reflect the actual story. Think of this teaser as a Dead Space demo. Isaac always dies at the end of a Dead Space demo, so that data miners and glitchers can't spoil anything.

    Please Enjoy.

    How is it my luck that I get stuck in a shit-hole like this?

    It was the only thing on my mind as I clutched the old fashioned candle in my hand. Despite my rough exterior outlook on the situation, I was mortified. I had been trapped in this Hospital for the damned for a length of time I couldn't even begin to fathom.

    That is to say, every fucking clock I look at told me a different time, and were usually four feet or less away from one another. Needless to say, keeping track of the flow of time wasn't going to help my growing insanity. Shaking my head, I hunkered down behind a Nurse's desk. I could smell mold and the pungent stench of years of dust.

    "Samuel?" I whispered out into the darkness.

    Besides the occasional ceiling light, the only mote of light I had to possibly see anything here was the candle in my hand. Something unique about the waxy god-send was the runic symbols that lined it's form. I had always heard about Wiccan runes being used in candles to keep evil spirits away, and for personal cleansing.

    I don't entirely know just how 'cleansed' I was feeling at this particular moment, I just knew that this was the worst day of my life, and it likely wasn't even lunch time. When I didn't get an answer from my friend, Sam, I sighed and took to the dark hallways once more. It wasn't even the darkness of the halls that filled my heart with sheer terror.

    It was the silence.

    Creeping down one hallway, I was certain I was nearing the Intensive Care Unit, or ICU for short. I stopped, my breath catching in my throat as something scampered behind me. Turning my candle, I held it out, attempting to get a visual on whatever it was there. When I didn't see anything, I slowly began to walk backwards, keeping my vision back the way I had come.

    Whatever was fucking with me, however, was likely not alone. Much like Velociraptors on the hunt, I was being baited, trapped, hunted. Behind me, more footfalls. It sounded, based off of the small pitter patter of the feet, like they were small children. My mind raced, and I nearly screamed as I stumbled into a surgical gurney.

    In my actions, the candle I had been holding fell upon the floor, extinguishing almost immediately. I stood there, in total darkness. Whispering voices, screams of the damned, and the sound of footsteps charging ever closer towards me began to echo throughout the halls.

    With one last sigh, I pulled a cigarette from my back pocket, igniting the cancer stick, and stuck it in my mouth.

    "I fucking hate Hospitals." I growled, taking a mighty puff.

    Then, there was only silence.

    Author's Notes: Not much to go off of, but I hope it's interested you a slight bit. I know it leaves much to be desired, but with a horror story such as this, I wanted to keep things kind of basic, and save the other stuff I have planned for later.

    If this teaser has peaked your interest, please let me know with a comment below. If you think this story, despite the smackerel of information I gave you, is worth investing my time in, I'd very much appreciate a comment below.

    In other words: POST MOTHAFUCKAS, POST!



    Thanks for Reading!

    Database Director

    Posts : 1225
    Join date : 2013-01-16
    Age : 23

    Re: CP: Unity in Hell *Tease*

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on December 20th 2015, 1:34 am

    Author's Note: I understand people are busy, and this post in no way is an attempt to force you guys to post.

    I've decided that I will post another teaser from another potential character's perspective. This one will hopefully have a little more substance for you to work off of, and I'm here to also announce some plans for this story, should you guys be interested.

    If you recall in the past, I have tried on several occasions to get a story where the Audience is involved in a 'Choose Your Adventure' style of story telling. Not because I'm lazy, but I've always wanted to write a story that is influenced by an Audience.

    That way, you guys could get a story you wanted, and I could get the feedback I crave. That being said, this is going to be another one of those attempted stories, if you decide it's worth the effort.

    The idea is this; There are six characters involved in this story that you, the Audience, will control. How the story continues will be entirely up to you. Depending on how many people actually read and comment on this story will determine how it plays up.

    For example let's say these are the six characters;

    Alyssa Duchacus

    Benjamin Forbes

    Samuel Roach

    Madeline Noel

    Yvonne Summers

    Daryl Wright.

    Each character has their own personality and attributes that I will decide and develop on my own. For this example, let's say only Jensen and Manny are commenting from the beginning. The way I would get this to work, seeings how the point of view will swap between these six characters, is that you would assign yourselves characters.

    So, let's say it's a 'first come first served' scenario. Manny posted on the introduction post of the story. He says that he'd like to claim Daryl, Madeline, and Alyssa as his three characters. That would leave Jensen to get the other three.

    From there, my next post would talk about the six characters from their own perspectives. Each character will face challenges and situations that could lead to a potential death for the character. If you have an assigned character, you will be expected to post what your decision is. So, let's say Alyssa hears something behind a door. I offer Manny the choice of open it, or walk away.

    Meanwhile, Jensen's character Benjamin is on the whole other side of the Hospital. He hears a scream behind him, and is offered the choice to investigate, or ignore it. Following the post, you both would answer in the comments based on what you want to see.

    So, let's say Manuel decides to enter the room because fucking why not? Jensen, on the other hand, ignores the scream.

    The post would go on to say that Alyssa walked into a room, where their friend Samuel was lying unconscious in a pool of his own blood. In reaction, she screamed with fear. However, because Jensen decided to ignore the scream, he was not there when the same beast that attacked Samuel decided to join Alyssa with her friend. That isn't to say that Manny did wrong in opening the door, it means that literally anything is possible.

    The goal of the story is for you guys to try and get as many characters out of the nightmare as possible.

    Now, let's use another example of how characters would be split. Seeings how there is six characters, the division is pretty simple. If it's Jensen and Manny, they split them three each. If there are three readers participating, they each get two. If it's four, the first two responders can choose two, while the first of the last two responders get their choice.

    Five readers, and the first poster gets their choice of two, while the sequential four get one. Six is the optimal, in which you all get control of one character, but due to the activity on this forum/group, I highly doubt that's going to ever happen.

    Needless to say, the next teaser is coming soon. If this concept interests you, and you have read these words so far. Please post below so I know. It only takes a second to type the words 'I'm game'. If you're not interested, still post anyways.

    No words is worse than 'bad' news.

    Thanks for your time!



    Thanks for Reading!

    Database Director

    Posts : 1225
    Join date : 2013-01-16
    Age : 23

    Re: CP: Unity in Hell *Tease*

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on December 21st 2015, 11:20 am

    From a different perspective.

    "Alyssa?!" I roared out into the darkness. "Maddy?! Yvonne?! Daryl?! Benny?!"

    It hadn't been five minutes since the six of us had performed that stupid 'ritual'. Knowing Daryl for as long as I had, he was probably going nuts. The guy always had an acute fascination with knowing the time at all times. Even when we were in Highschool, he always had to check the clock, always had to know what time it was.

    I worried for him moreso than the others. If he didn't know what time it was, he usually got anxious. When he's anxious, he usually resorts to smoking, but the nicotine inside always tends to make matters worse. Walking past what appeared to be the Nurse's station, I could tell that we weren't in any known plane of existence. Every clock I looked at was off. One digital clock on the Nurse's desk said it was three fifteen am, while the old roman numeral based clock on the wall said it was ten twenty-five pm.

    Glancing down at my watch, it read eleven ten am, about five minutes since the last time I checked it. To my left, I heard something that made me jump slightly. Glancing over, I saw what appeared to be the emergency entrance for Ambulance crews to deliver ill patients. It was a sliding automatic door, yet it didn't seem to inviting. Cracks ran along the bullet-proof glass, with a strange, eerie red glow emanating from the other side. Sparks continually shot up from the opening mechanism, as the door opened about an inch or two, before shutting.

    Much like a broken record, the door continued this pattern. Morbid curiosity brought me towards the door, while my mind was telling me to walk away. Despite my alarm bells going off, I walked up towards the door, and part of me was glad I had. Glancing out the glass door, I saw nothing but a void of crimson and onyx smog. We weren't on Earth anymore, in fact, I don't even think we were within our own Universe at this point.

    Whatever the hell this Hospital was, it was floating in some abyss. There was a loud crash behind me, and I turned to give it a look. Where I had just been standing, beside the Nurse's desk, was the remains of a now shattered gurney. Had I been standing there just now, I'd probably be dead, based on the damage on the gurney and the desk itself.

    I decided to investigate the crash zone, just in case anyone was at one point on the gurney. As I stepped over, the air around me felt thick, and made it almost impossible to breath. There, on the top of the gurney, was a rune covered candles, one I recognized almost immediately.

    "Madeline?!" I yelled around, one of her 'cleansing' candles couldn't have been just waiting for me. "You there?!"

    "I'd watch yourself." a voice hissed behind me, causing my skin to crawl and shivers go up my spine. "The dead don't like to be disturbed. Stay in the light, find the others, find the connection."

    "Who are you?" I asked, unmoving.

    "Who I am isn't important, not anymore." the voice replied. "I am a Forgotten Soul, but I mean well in helping you and your friends get out of here."

    "Where is here?" I asked.

    "Hehehe." the voice replied with a harsh, raspy chuckle. "This here? This is a Corpse Party, kid. You all were invited."

    "How do you intend to help my friends and I?" I asked, only to receive a moment of silence.

    "Once upon a time, I too, was invited to the Party. My wife, and a handful of our house guests performed that same ritual as you and your friends. We all died here." the voice replied. "Don't believe me? Light that candle, and place it just down the hall, on that table there."

    Following the spirit's orders, I grabbed the candle of the gurney and walked down the hall to my right a ways. On the right side of the hall was a small table that hosted a vase of flowers. The flowers inside had definitely seen better times, and the vase itself hosted numerous cracks along it's edge. Pulling my pocket lighter out of my pocket, I ignited the wick on the candle, and placed it on the table.

    To my surprise, the light of the candle illuminated the hall a small bit. Just enough for me to make out the silhouette of a person on the far wall. Their form was laying on the floor, curled in a restful form.

    "That is one of your friends." the spirit said from behind me. "You are all guests in this Hospital of the restless damned. However, you are all split in different instances of the same Hospital."

    My eyes widened as he said this. Were we all doomed to die here? Unable to even see each other? Was it truly every man for themselves?

    "I can sense your worry. Negative emotion isn't wise to have around here. In a place of pure and unaltered malice." the spirit sighed. "Something I discovered, when I was still alive, is that you can actually jump to other instances of this hell."

    "Really?" I asked. "How?"

    "Every door you go through has the chance of entering you into a different instance. That's why I should warn you that if you ever find something you might find useful, you should probably grab it before you enter ANY door. You may never see that instance again." the spirit replied. "Anywho, please follow the sound of my voice."

    Walking alongside what I hoped to be the voice of a benevolent spirit, we stopped just ahead, back the way we had come. The gurney was still broken, one of it's wheels still spinning from the motion. The spirit materialized, showing a young man in his early thirties. He wore a very fancy charcoal brown suit, a sharp looking fedora on his head.

    "Just when did you come here?" I asked, much to his dismay.

    "The year was 1946. My wife Beatrice thought the ritual was a symbol of good luck, and a omen for a healthy wedding. Instead, it doomed our house guests and all." the spirit replied. "The gurney came from this way."

    Pointing ahead, the man's spirit seemingly followed the tracks in the dusty floor that the gurney had made. Surely enough, a giant clean zone within the dust which indicated the location of the gurney originally remained.

    "You got another one of them candles?" the spirit asked, crossing his arms, turning towards me.

    Thinking back on it, Madeline had given me one of her candles for Christmas earlier this morning. I had placed it in my backpack. Pulling the knapsack off of my back, I pulled the runic wax stick from my storage. Without speaking a word, the spirit cocked his head towards the blank spot. Turning towards it, I gently lowered the candle to the floor, but was surprised as my right hand ran along what appeared to be metal.

    Looking up, I was certain nothing was there. Moving my hand forward, I felt cloth, much like the sheet of a bedspread. It was odd, it felt like a gurney was still there, despite the gurney being in the other room. Shrugging, I placed the candle up by where the pillow should be. It was the most surreal thing, taking notice of a candle floating in air. It was propped up against what I could only hope was the pillow.

    "Good, when your friend finally wakes up, this should help him."  the spirit said. "Listen, I can't be with you this entire trip. I don't feed off of the negative energies of this place, so if I keep up this form, I may disappear from sight completely. If I'm lacking energy, I won't be able to communicate with you."

    "Damn." I sigh. "Well, thanks for the help anyways."

    "You gots it." the spirit nodded, before slowly fading. "Don't worry, I can offer help in other ways. First things first though, you should really try and meet up with your friend."

    Just before the spirit disappeared from sight completely, he tipped his fedora towards me, a smile on his face.

    "The name's Frank DiMaggio." he said. "Be well, kid."



    Thanks for Reading!

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    Re: CP: Unity in Hell *Tease*

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      Current date/time is July 19th 2018, 5:31 am