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Most users ever online was 29 on October 1st 2013, 12:09 am


    Over the Top

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    zman007playr
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    Over the Top

    Post  zman007playr on September 26th 2013, 11:47 am

    This post is an opening to my latest creation, of which I haven't decided on a name quite yet, so I will allow the database to pick it.  As you can see, the two possibilties are Over the Top and On the Fields of Hell.  But I suppose to pick a good one, you need to know what the story is about.

    This will be a WWI themed tory, following a group of soldiers through the bloody and gruesome "War to end all wars."  More details will be released at a later date, but CHOOSE THE TITLE YOU LIKE THE BEST, I CAN'T DECIDE, ARGHHHHHHHHHHEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP OWEDEOIDNIDWDN  

    -zman (craziness over)


    Last edited by zman007playr on September 26th 2013, 7:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Shad0wChas3r
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on September 26th 2013, 1:11 pm

    Over the top seems much more like a fitting name. It bring a bit of realism to the story, even before the story has begun. These soldiers up front had to wait for their artillery to begin firing, then charge across no-man's-land in a last ditch effort to push back the opposing forces.

    I'm sure you already knew all this, but for others that might not have been aware.

    On the Fields of Hell is a good title too, but I think Over the Top might put a little more emotion into the story, and bring one of the biggest phrases ever said by a Allied Forces front-linesman just before a charge to the reader.


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    Bad John
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Bad John on September 26th 2013, 1:35 pm

    How about "No Man's Land?"

    Of the two, though, I prefer "Over the Top." It has a simplistic ring to it.
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    Manny
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Manny on September 26th 2013, 6:45 pm

    Why not "on the fields of Flanders"? Lol jk.

    Canadian WWI Pride aside... Over the top is probably best.

    One thing I'd like to ask is... When you do you plan to start the journey? If it's at the beginning of WWI then your characters most likely won't be American. Just a heads up (in the unlikely situation you didn't know that ).

    zman007playr
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  zman007playr on September 26th 2013, 7:48 pm

    Yeah I'm planning on this being set in the latter part of the war, I've picked out several battles in which the story will overlap. I have an entire notebook page of notes on what will happen, so far i have 13 named and important characters, 7 major offensive action sequences they will be involved in and a rough idea of what i want from this.

    zman007playr
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  zman007playr on September 29th 2013, 8:16 pm

    Just a quick heads up guys, I'm working on getting everything squared away with Over the Top as we speak and anticipate writing the first chapter this week. This will be a project about the size of The Past is Renewed, so I want it to be as perfect as i can get. I am adding a true life part of this story with real people from WWI namely Maj. Whittlesey and Sgt. Greggory, (who happens to be a Virginia Tech Corps of Cadets Grad lol) so if you don;t know who they are, just do a little probing to know and yeah that is all.

    I hope ya'll like this idea as much as i do

    -Zman
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    Bad John
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Bad John on September 29th 2013, 8:49 pm

    I approve of your heroic passion to make a good story. I can't wait to see it, home boy!

    zman007playr
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  zman007playr on October 2nd 2013, 10:43 am

    OVER THE TOP
    ¬By: Zachary Crabtree

    Prelude:
    The morning was wet and cold in the woods of the Argonne forest in the French-Belgium border. A layer of thick fog engulfed the floor of the thick labyrinth that was the area around the Charlevaux-Mill. Private First Class Frank Disney hunkered down in a large foxhole with his fellow Chauchat gunners and friends; Private First Class Connor Stillwell, and Private Henry Wilcox. The three sat huddled around the remains of a small fire they tried to start to eat what little rations they had left. Disney took a small bite out of the hardtack that he had and looked forward, towards where the German lines were. Stillwell just sat looking at the smoldering fire pit, wishing they could let it flare up to have some kind of heat, and Wilcox was just sleeping, taking whatever time he could. Disney looked down at the kid and snickered, after all, a kid described him perfectly. He was only 18, and here he was thrust into the mess that had taken the lives of men twice his age. But, he had spirit, and now, that was all the men around him could hope for.

    They had been fighting in the thick of the Argonne Forrest for three days now, and were nearly at the end of their supplies. Cut off from the rest of the allied forces, the men of the so called “Lost Battalion” could only pray they could hold just a little bit longer. Disney shook Wilcox awake.

    “Hey, wake up kid, gotta stay on your toes” Frank said with a smile. The fog had lifted slightly, and Disney and the crew of the machine gun could now clearly see their buddies to their immediate right.

    Private First Class Lewis Franklin, Harry Marshall, and Ronald Mattson lay in their makeshift covered position, a fallen tree. Their eyes locked on to the wood ahead, waiting for a Heinie attack. Lewis looked over to Harry for a quick moment before returning his gaze to the front. The two didn’t speak a word but both knew what the other was thinking. They both knew death would come for them in this forest, but the question was when. Suddenly, they heard the faint roar of artillery shells. Lewis tucked his head close to his body to avoid the shrapnel but raised it when he didn’t feel the shock of the explosion close to him. The shells were falling on the German lines, FRIENDLY ARTILLERY!

    “HA! How do ya like that you Heinie bastards?” Lewis shouted as he stood up. Watching those shells fall of the Germans lifted every American soldier in the wood off their feet, shouting with glee, and raising their guns to the sky.

    Disney stood up from his machine gun and pulled the brim of his helmet up and away from his eyes. “Well I’ll be damned. Hey Henry, look at that, damn arty boys have finely found—.” Disney stopped his sentence as the shells stopped falling on the Germans, and started falling on them.

    BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! The shots started falling all around the Americans, Disney watched as four men surrounding a cluster of trees were riddled with shrapnel as a shell burst caught a tree just next to them. “Jesus Christ! Wilcox get the fuck down!” Frank said, grabbing the awestruck private by the collar and yanking him down into the hole.

    “That’s our own arty Frank! Don’t they know who the hell they’re supposed to be shootin’ at?!” Connor gripped the machinegun tightly as he huddled in the shallow hole for what cover he could get. Disney didn’t hear any of this, as a shell landed just in front of their hole, sending the group into pure shell shock. Wilcox felt the worst of it, as he looked around dazed and confused. His ears ringing, he couldn’t hear himself think, let alone the orders given by Major Whittlesey and the other officers.

    “You men, there,” the Major shouted above the explosions around him. Private First Class Disney looked back at the Major, who, himself, was hunkered down trying not to catch a friendly piece of shrapnel. “Stay low, but for Heaven’s sake watch the line!” Disney looked away from the Major and back to the line, the sight he saw would haunt him for the rest of his life. The shells kept dropping, leaving soldiers in pieces. He saw a Sergeant running from the front back towards the main line. Disney reached out his hand calling “Come on! Come on you can make it, you can make—.” A shell exploded not twenty five feet from Disney’s hole, almost deafening him, and flinging dirt and debris into his eyesight. When the smoke cleared, the Sergeant had vanished. A pile of blood and shrapnel sat in the last place Disney saw the man. All three of the gunners saw this, but it seemed to his Wilcox the hardest.

    “Fucking BASTARDS” he shouted, standing up from the position. “It’s your own goddamn men you’re shelling! You’re killing US, NOT THEM!” He sprinted forward, in an adrenaline fueled rage, much to his comrades’ dismay. “Wilcox, get back here!” Frank shouted above the roar of the barrage, but none of his words reached Wilcox. So he ran to get him, abandoning his post, he sprinted out to get the young private back to safety. Just as he was about to catch up….

    KABOOM!!!!!!
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    Manny
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Manny on October 2nd 2013, 1:27 pm

    ...Did artillery really fire on friendly troops in WWI? Or is this for the purpose of the story?

    zman007playr
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  zman007playr on October 2nd 2013, 1:32 pm

    In this Case yes. Major Whittlesey and a few hundred men were told to attack the Charlevaux Mill with the French and other American forces on his flanks. Those two forces never attacked, so Whittlesey and his men were alone in the middle of the German lines. In an effort to alieviate stress on his unity, American artillery tried to fire support fire for him, but the coordinates were off, and the shells landed on his unit.
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    Shad0wChas3r
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    Re: Over the Top

    Post  Shad0wChas3r on October 2nd 2013, 3:46 pm

    Sadly, friendly fire from allied artillery was common in the battles of WWI. Friend of mine's great-grandfather served in Major Whittlesey's unit. Could never remember the guys' first name or rank though.

    But my friend's family still tells the stories of how miscommunicated the artillery were, and I think you are painting the picture, for a lack of better words, nicely. Well done Zman Very Happy


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